Fry up some fake bacon food product

Breakfast plat with fake vegetarian bacon.

I am a meat eater. I eat kangaroo and I eat bacon. I eat whatever is indigenous to the culture I am visiting.

This morning I ate fake bacon. It was my first time.

That’s because I’m staying with an Australian family that is variously meat-free, gluten-free and dairy-free. Two of them left the house this morning for a two-week sojourn. I faced a kitchen of intriguing leftovers including bacon-style rashers.

According to Life Health Foods‘ Web page they “…look, smell and taste like meat.”

If these brown slices of spongy food product look, smell, or taste like meat, it is a category of meat that us actual meat-eaters would compare to SPAM. Which many of us don’t actually eat.

Dead meat, live chickens

And in a similar line of logic, why would a vegetarian want to eat something that looks, smells, and tastes like meat? I’m the first to acknowledge that meat tastes like dead animal.

On top of the deadness, you have the salts, fats, and preservatives that meat flavour entails.

I’m guessing we have bacon-style rashers so the young ‘uns get a little non-meat protein in their diet. It’s a food novelty.

For others maybe it’s intended as a kind of methadone for meat-eaters—a way to slowly withdraw from the addictive deliciousness of salty, smoky bacon.

On a positive note, I took three fresh, organic eggs from our backyard Isa Brown chickens. I cracked the shells and slid the unfertilized embryos into salted boiling water.

I enjoyed them on toast alongside the vegetarian bacon-style rashers.

Ethical eating is hard.

Isa Brown chickens.
Isa Brown chickens in South Australia.